By Mindy Murdoch

Ms. Gsptlsnz changes outfits with the snap of her fingers, she can't decide what to wear while waiting for her beloved Mxy to come home. She has been brooding about his obsession with the 3rd dimension and that bothersome Superman. "Why can't he just say here and pay attention to me!"

"NUTS! NUTS! NUTS!" The small imp storms into his home, fists clenched and red as a tomato.

"He beat you again, huh?" She asks with a total deadpan look on her face.

"Don't you start with me, Gsptlsnz!" Mxyzptlk harrumphs while turning to look sternly at his wife.

"You know, now that you're stuck here, you'll just have to find another way to pass the time. . . " She says in a sultry voice while leaning down to kiss her tiny husband.

"Hey, this isn't so bad. . . " He reaches around to hold his wife and sensually kisses her back when he thinks about Superman and the fact, he continuously thwarts his fun. Instead of supporting his wife who has leaned into his arms, he drops her onto the hard floor.

THUD!!!

Gsptlsnz hits the floor and is not hurt but she is livid that her husband continues to obsess over those people from the 3rd dimension. She already lives in an apartment covered with pictures of Superman and his girlfriend Lois. "I am more beautiful than her, why does he need to have her picture on the wall too!"

She floats up and hopes Mxy will notice she is leaving, but as expected she is ignored. Once in the hall she snaps her fingers and is suddenly wearing a professional blue skirt suit with a white blouse and black heels. With her purse in hand, she snaps again and poofs her way into the 3rd dimension to give herself time to calm down.

Gsptlsnz finds herself in the bustling city of Metropolis, she didn't originally think to come here, but as she walks down the street an interesting idea comes to her mind. If Superman and Lois are out of the way, then Mxy will pay more attention to me."

"Clark! I'll get over to Lexlabs and interview the professor, can you tell Perry and meet me there" Lois shouts behind her as she dashes out of the Daily Planet and begins looking for a cab.

"What luck! It's that little tart Lois, I overheard her say Lexlabs, and If I remember correctly Mxy said Lex Luthor was a rich man, and that Luthor has a bit of a thing for Lois." Lois hears a finger snap and feels compelled to walk towards the strange noise. After a few steps, she sees a beautiful red-haired woman dressed smartly staring at her with a menacing grin.

I think you need to stop sticking your nose into people's business, every time Mxy shows up here you find out strange things are happening and tell your boyfriend Superman. Maybe a change in vocation will do the trick." Lois looks incredulously at Gsptlsnz, her cab forgotten.

"Mxy, do you mean, Mxyzptlk! Is that how you made me forget about my interview and walk over here? New vocation, I was born to be a reporter, and there is nothing you can do to change that, you better get out of here before Superman shows up and forces you back where you came from."

Hmmm, there is something I could do to change that. Maybe that nice Lex Luthor needs a new flight attendant. No, that sounds too professional for the new Lois Lane, now you will be someone who got the job because of your looks and not your skills. Stewardess, or better yet, Sky Maid would be more fitting for your new role. Haha"

With the snap of her fingers Lois's smart suit is gone, she looks down and is now wearing black heels and transparent smoky stockings. She can feel the garters pinching the tops of her thighs, just above the hem of her new black mini skirt. A tight black blazer is buttoned over a white blouse with a black bow, and her hands are covered with a buttoned cuff white gloves. She feels a lady's hat pinned to her head and notices the sun glint off her new wings pinned above her bosom. "She better change me back right now!"

Instead of the power pose, she intended Lois feels her hands settle on her rum as she pushes her bust out, with a pouty face she tells Gsptlsnz "What am I doing here! Mr. Luthor will be cross with me if he takes off without me."

Startled by the words coming out of her and the silly pose she finds herself in, she starts to get frightened, she can't seem to get her body to do what she wants. "Ah yes, well I see you did not want to say that I know how much pride you take in your work, so I made sure you will pursue your new role as fervently as you did your last and don't think to ask for Superman's help. Whenever you try to say his name, you will say a variation of Lex Luthor's name. But don't worry honey, I'll get you to work on time."

As Gsptlsnz snaps her fingers, the real Lois dwelling within the new Lois' mind manages to shout "NO" before suddenly finding herself on a private jet. She looks over and sees Lex Luthor sitting in a plush chair. OH MY! Mister Luthor would you like your favorite drink?" she says with a beaming smile. Before even receiving a response from Lex, she quickly pours the drink and hurries to Lex. He grins wrapping a large arm around Lois' waist and pulling her onto his lap, spilling the drink. He gives her a steamy kiss and stands her back up before giving her a firm slap on her round rump. "EEP!" Lois exclaims, and bends over picking up the spilled glass, let me get that cleaned up right away for you Mister Luthor."

"Take your time honey, we have all the time in the world," Lex says as the jet begins its preflight checks.

Clark Kent was not far behind Lois when she stepped outside the planet, and he saw her not get in the cab. A moment later, with his super hearing, he heard Lois' voice shout "NO" and then nothing. Usually, if he focused his super hearing, he could pick individual voices and sounds out from across the city. But he could not hear her anywhere, and she could not have gotten far enough on foot for him to lose her.

Gsptlsnz knew that Superman was coming. Lois's little cry for help was the perfect lure for him, she also knew from all of Mxy, interactions that if she gave him time and toyed with him, he would find a way to win. She loved her man, but he needed to focus and do his job and come home and spend time with her. He was too easily distracted and played too many games.

Her 5th-dimensional senses were much better than all these basic people living in this dimension, and as soon as Superman turned towards the last place Lois stood, she snapped her fingers. "That is the end of Superman, silly Mxy, he needs to make everything seem so difficult."

Clark is suddenly stopped; even though he was moving at super speed. This caused a burst of force to blow out in all directions startling passersby and gathering onlookers. Standing in the epicenter, he needed to take stock and figure out what had stopped him, and how.

"Let's see my shoes are fine, I didn't break a heel, my dress is still down, it may have blown up a bit from that force, but nobody saw my unmentionables. I can't believe I wore my apron out this afternoon, I can be such a scatterbrain sometimes. My hair is still coiffed, although a little mussed and my spit curl is still nice and curly."

"That's impossible, how are you still fighting it" Gsptlsnz murmurs to herself. But then she sees the transformation is working, it's just going slowly for some reason. "haha, this is a little more fun, look at you trying to figure out what is happening." She giggles to herself easily moving past the onlookers and getting close to the changing hero.

Clark suddenly realizes what he said. A dress, heels, and an apron, these are women's clothes. He was wearing his suit over his super suit. He could feel underclothes, for some reason, he knew he was wearing a corset, these new clothes were supporting the continuing to-grow assets under his dress.

"No, this can't be right. . . What is happening? He hears a woman laughing and heels clicking as they approach him. He hears her mutter something about why the change is happening slowly. But he notices it's much quieter, with his super hearing he should be able to make it out perfectly from across town. "Who are you, what have you done to me?"

"That's rude, you should answer my question first.' Gsptlsnz says with a chuckle.

The thought of being rude makes Clark feel uneasy, he likes to be polite and friendly. But he knows something is wrong, he can't share his identity with this woman, who is doing something to him. But as his mind grew foggier and foggier, he found himself unable to resist. "The changes are slow because I am Kryptonian, the yellow sun makes me stronger and my mind more resistant. But I can feel myself slipping, I am losing my strength."

"Well, that makes sense then, I can answer your question, and I'll give you a bonus answer for being such a good sport. You have been a thorn in my beloved's side, whenever Mxy comes here to have some fun, he leaves me sitting at home waiting for him. But you always banish him, so he returns in such a bad mood all he does is stew about how mad he is at you and continues to ignore me!" Gsptlsnz can't help but get angry thinking about Mxy sitting at home brooding about Superman and ignoring her. She manages to calm herself down and regain her usually even composure. "Your bonus answer is that I did not know you were an alien, so I just turned you into a human housewife. Specifically, from the 1950's, it's an aesthetic I thought would look good on you."

Housewife! This can't be true; did I tell you that I think your hair is gorgeous." Clark covers his mouth with a fully feminine and beautifully manicured hand to his mouth. Where did that come from, His voice is now feminine and graceful. Golly! Maybe if I can get away from here her powers will stop and I will start to revert."

"I can help with that!" A loud snap cracks the air, and the two are suddenly gone. With the crowd still murmuring, Superboy swoops down and questions what is happening. He overhears the word Kryptonian and changing, he knows something must have happened to Clark. Superboy decides the first place to check is Clark's apartment and hopefully, there will be some clues to what is happening. Gsptlsnz and the fully female Clark arrive in the kitchen of Clark's apartment. Oh my, I can't believe how messy I have let it become here. I must get to tidying up. NO! I am Clara B.b. . . Kent, I will fight this, you can change my body but not my mind. She begins to rise from her kneeling place on the floor. When a look of fear crosses her face, "CLARA, my. . . name. . . is . . . CLARA B. . . B. . . Brown!"

Superboy arrives at Clark's apartment and lets himself in. He immediately notices a frightened woman with black hair in the kitchen, her state of dress is a little old fashion, but her glasses look strikingly like Clarks. But he is immediately cut off by the woman.

"CONNOR! Sweetheart, you are looking so thin, are. . . NO. . . Get out of here, go to Gotham. That handsome Bru, pardon me, Batman is the only person who can help now. No, go, quickly RUN!" Clara is still struggling with the housewife thoughts fogging her mind. Connor was a clone created from Clark Kent's DNA and he had always thought of Superboy like a son. She desperately wants him to run before Gsptlsnz can change him too.

But Superboy could not ignore this frightened woman, he needed to help her if he could. So, he approaches her before something she has said strikes him. "You called me Connor; nobody knows my identity except Sup. . . "

But even as he is saying the words Gsptlsnz snaps her fingers and before he can finish uttering his mentor's name, he feels tingling across his body. There is a pricking in his ears as earrings materialize, he can't see but his eyelashes extend in a fluttering feminine manner and pink gloss has been applied to his lips.

When Connor looks down, he sees he is no longer wearing his trunks, spandex lettings, and boots, He sees a frilly skirt fluttering around his legs and white stockings, tucked into black mary-janes on his feet. The changes overtake Connor faster than they had changed Clare, but the boy fights with everything he has. "I can still get help! It's not too late, I may look strange, but Bruce will know how to fix us. Just hold on Clar. . . Mommy!"

"Ya, I decided to go younger, I was going to leave you the teenager, but why deny Clara here the chance to have a beautiful little girl? I am sorry to say it is too late sweetheart, Superman may have had the time to fly off and find help, but you are already too far gone."

Seeing Conners's changes continue to progress, the part of her mind that was Clark and still fighting gave up. "Connie dear, I will not have you flying off and showing your unmentionables to anyone who would be looking. I don't know what I would do if your powers disappeared while you were in the air either." She stands and dusts herself off from kneeling on the floor and straightens her glasses. "Now come over here, and I'll fix you a little snack, and then I need to clean this place up before your father gets home."

"Father?" Conner continues to fight it, but he is shrinking to closer to three feet, the white stockings have combined and become thick white tights. The symbol has disappeared from his chest as it has become a button-down dress, with puffy shoulders and a big red bow tied above her little rump. The new little girl's hard-soled shoes tap a rhythm on the hardwood floor as she approaches her new mother. Gsplsnz is chuckling as the newly made little girl approaches her new mother. She knows Conners's mind is still fighting inside the little girl's mind. Yes, sweetie, your daddy is Charles Brown, all the hero types know him as Kite Man, he is just a misunderstood guy who wanted a family. Now he has one. But I better be off, your husband will be home after gliding around town doing odd jobs for people. I believe he was delivering packages, the last time Mxy mentioned him. But I do think you're right, Bruce Wayne could present a problem, I understand he is very good at finding fixes to anything that arises in this dimension." With another snap she is gone, leaving the newly made Clara and Connie Brown standing in the kitchen.

Gsptlsnz appears in Gotham City, night has just begun to fall, and she spots a black shadow moving silently through the alleyways. She silently follows him; she knows this is the legendary Batman. She decides to watch him in action for a bit. She doesn't notice anything unique or extraordinary about him, he is just a strange man dressed like a bad running around in the dark.

Batman doubles back through a few alleyways and climbs onto a roof and when Gsptlsnz appears on the same roof, she is confused he should be here, her powers are far beyond anything this dimension has ever seen. Then a sudden flash and her hands are clenched into unmovable fists, and her heels have clicked together being planted on the spot. She sees four small devices emitting a strange energy forcing her hands and legs together.

"I'm Batman!" I knew you were following me from the moment you appeared. These binds are emitting dimensional energy and they will hold even you." Batman pushes a few buttons, and the bat copter appears and lands on the roof, with a few more buttons the small devices maneuver Gsptlsnz into the copter, "We will chat more when you are secured back in the cave."

"You should let me go; our conversation would be much more pleasant if I weren't bound this way." Gsptlsnz pushes her power into her voice, even without her hands she should have no problem altering Batman's mind into letting her go.

"Don't bother, dimensional dampeners in the cowl, after superman first met Mxyzptlk, I started studying dimensional energy, my research came to fruition when Ba-Mite let me study his power. That is when I came up with the tech to block the powers of 5th-dimensional beings. There are upsides to having a 5th-dimensional being becoming your biggest fan."

Gsptlsnz begins to feel nervous. She never expected this Batman to be so well prepared. She knew Superman had thwarted Mxy many times, but she fell into the same trap he always did. She decided to follow and toy with Batman. "You know you can't keep me trapped here forever, right?" "I don't need to, once I banish you back to the fifth dimension any changes you made on your little trip here will revert. Then we will create a plan to keep you out of our dimension for good. Trust me, you won't succeed, in whatever you had planned, this is what I do."

Batman secures Gsptlsnz in the Batcave and needs to leave to collect some additional components to ensure his captive will not escape. Gsptlsnz saw an elderly man out of the corner of her eye, Bruce Wayne's butler, I can use him she thinks. She shifts her form, and her hair is now a dark brown pixie cut, and she has flinty grey eyes, and a strong jaw. "Father! I came here to talk to Batman, and somehow, I got pulled into this cell, I don't understand what happened." The girl says in a British accent.

"JULIA!" Alfred gasps, the old butler rarely has seen his daughter. She grew up in London, with her mother, and works with a special military branch of the British government. She has assisted the bat family from time to time and deduced who Bruce Wayne was based on her knowledge of her father. Alfred quickly powers down the cell and removes the various devices shackling his daughter. She hugs him and says, "Thank you, Daddy!" She snaps her fingers, and the old butler becomes an exact copy of Gsptlsnz. The new woman instantly finds herself in the cell, and a new copy of Alfred appears standing in the Batcave. "This is dreadful! But it should only be for a moment."

She moves back to where she first spotted the old man. She knows that Batman's cowl could pose a problem. Plus, she is a little concerned about Bat-Mite, she doesn't want him as an enemy. But she can't just leave Batman to continue to be around thwarting Mxy, and if she fails to finish her plan, he will undoubtedly come after her as well. "I got it! Hahahahaha" She can't help but laugh out loud it's the perfect resolution.

Batman returns to the Batcave and finds, his prisoner still contained and silent. He opens a panel and attaches electrodes to her temples so he can work on finding out how to banish her back to the fifth dimension. He needs to get her talking, and the bat computer can monitor her brain patterns tracking if he is making any headway.

A snap echo rings through the Batcave and he turns to see Alfred standing directly in front of him with a menacing look. Bruce has shrunk, the muscles he spent his life building have disappeared, and he has tiny feet standing in black penny loafers. Black knee socks wrapping around his calves. His trunks have become a blue skirt with the hem brushing his thighs. He feels a bra wrapped around his new modest breasts and sees the bat symbol still emblazoned across them on his new black sweater. Instead of the tablet he was using to monitor his prisoner, he had a notebook, and his utility best is now a large backpack.

"This is impossible!" The new girl gasps out when the form of Alfred changes into Gsptlsnz. She reaches and grabs the now too-large cowl off the girl's head, and snaps again. Tears are streaming down the girl's face, and from the cowl shoulder length brown hair spills forth. She has a cute face bright blue eyes and tastefully done makeup with red lipstick. She looks to be a model schoolgirl.

"Now, now, don't cry little girl. You are now Bryce Pennyworth, the number one fangirl of the new Batman. I know Bat-Mite will love being the hero and having an adorable fan constantly fawning over him."

"Now my friend Alfred here, he never got to raise his daughter. So, for his help in letting me out of your little cage, I decided to give him another chance with you. He is no longer the butler; he is your father." She smiles and Alfred grows younger, his silver hair becoming black and muscle developing on his now more youthful frame. Before Alfred or Bryce can say anything further, they are now standing in the entryway of the stately Pennyworth manor. All the technology in the bat cave has disappeared, and the rock has filled back the space, the new Batman will not need anything like a cave.

"Bryce, dry those tears young lady, I know the Gotham Academy for young ladies is not your ideal choice, but you must learn deportment and grace. It's the best charm school in the United States, and it's final. No more of these silly notions of being a masked vigilante like that Batman fellow, you seem to like so much. You will learn to be a cultured young woman."

"But Daddy, this is so unfair! I am never talking to you again!" The young Bryce stomps away from her father traveling across the large manor to her bedroom to brood in her teenage angst alone. Gsptlsnz can't help but laugh at the petulant young girl. She knows the real Batman is still in her mind but it's not who she is anymore, she is completely governed by Bryce's thoughts and feelings just like all the others.

"WHO ARE YOU!!!! AHHHHHH Bryce's shrill voice screams and echoes through the manor." Alfred's eyes go wide with fear hearing his daughter scream and he dashes in the direction of the girl's room. Gsptlsnz finds her curiosity piqued. What could be happening so soon after she made all these changes?

"HAHAHAHAHAHA Mr. Pennyworth you're a brave man rushing into the unknown." Inside Bryce's room, the Joker stands just inside an open window holding the young girl with a giant dangerous-looking knife up to the young woman. "Now I am going to take your lovely daughter here and we are going to spend a little time together, and if you get me five million in gold bars I'll consider delivering her back to you unharmed. HAHAHAHAHAHA"

"I can't allow that to happen, you see I need this girl as part of my plan. You're kidnapping her messes that up. So, I think one last adjustment for the road." The Joker's knife turns into a feather duster, and he drops it, snarling over at Gsptlsnz. Before he can utter a word, his clothes change. Heels grow out of his shoes as they turn into basic black heels. His pants lose all color and become pristine white stockings that disappear under petticoats and the hem of a frilly black maid skirt.

"W..what's ha..happening" The Joker stutters out. His mind is clouding but somehow, he is holding onto part of himself.

"Interesting, your brain is so messed up even my powers are having a difficult time altering its reality. I have never heard of that before, Mxy will find this very interesting. But I don't like leaving a job unfinished."

"What is going on in here? I demand an explanation this very instant. Alfred demands in a booming voice.

The Joker's eyes go wide, feminine hands grasp the edges of the frilly maid dress and Joker performs an elegant curtsy. "I. . . I am very sorry Master Pennyworth. This was my fault. I was playing one of my little jokes on Bryce and it. . . it scared her more than I had intended." Once Joker rises from the curtsy the clown makeup is gone leaving plain working makeup on her feminine face, her hair has tied itself into a bun, and as the last traces of green disappear."

"Artura Fleck, I have told you this house is no place for jokes and games. Now please get back to your duties and I will not have any further disruptions to the smooth running of this household, and that goes double for you, young lady." He finishes with a stern look at his daughter, who has regained her composure.

"Yes sir, Master Pennyworth." Artura dips into another curtsey before hurriedly rushing out of the bedroom.

"Understood Daddy," Bryce says looking at the floor and still brooding about her lack of choice about her new school.

Alfred turns to Gsptlsnz, "I am sorry for all the trouble while you have been here mam. Bryce will be a model student at the start of term."

"Of course. . . No problem at all Mr. Pennyworth. Just keep an eye on her and keep her out of trouble." Alfred turns to walk Gsptlsnz out and is startled to see she is already gone.

Back home in the 5th dimension, Mxyzptlk has finally calmed down and is preparing for Gsptlsnz fury. He knew she wanted his attention, but he ignored her again. She bursts through the front door with a huge smile on her face. Hello Mxy, I have some wonderful news for you!

Mxy is pleasantly surprised to see she is so happy, whatever she did worked wonders. He floats up to give her a loving kiss. "Gizpy I am so glad to see you, and I would love to make it up to you for my behavior earlier."

'You will have more than that. I went for a little trip to the 3rd dimension. I met your friend Superman." She smiles hungrily while bending down to brush his cheek.

"You what! What did the big blue ape do to you, did he banish you I know it's uncomfortable, but it will pass, and I'll show you how to get around it. But it will be a while." He wrinkles his nose in disgust at the idea of his beautiful Gizpy being banished.

Oh, heavens No! Nobody banished me. Do you still have the 3rd dimension converter, the device that allows us to watch the day-to-day lives of people there?"

"Of course, I connected it to the TV in the garage while I was working burning off some steam tinkering."

Together they curl up on the couch in the garage and Gsptlsnz turns on the television. The screen lights up and Clara Brown is shown in her kitchen with her arms wrapped around Kite Man. Still wearing her blue dress and pink heels, her hair perfectly coiffed, and her glasses straight, the image of a perfect little housewife.

"I don't get it, did that strange Kite Man find a wife?"

"He did, that is Clara Brown, you knew her better when she was Superman. She is married to Charles Brown or Kite Man, and is the mother of little Connie Brown, you may remember her as Superboy." They are a nice little family."

"Hahaha!" Mxyzptlk laughs. So, you did this for me."

"Of course, darling, I hated seeing you upset every time you returned from the 3rd dimension. Now you will not have any problems. "You can pop out unwind, then pop back in to be with me!" She pulls the tiny man up crushing his face against her bosom He smiles loving every moment of it. But that is not all, Lois Lane is now Lex Luthor's sexy little flight attendant toy, Batman is now a teenage girl filled with rebellious energy and teenage angst, and the Joker has become a maid in the former Batman's manor. He was just in my way."

Just as she finished her explanation to Mxyzptlk Bat-Mite comes crashing through the front door of their apartment. "I couldn't find Batman anywhere on 3rd dimensional TV, what did you do Gsptlsnz!" "Calm down, I made it better for you, instead of you being the ultimate fan of Batman. I gave you the ultimate fan. Bryce Pennyworth will worship the ground you walk on. You pop into the 3rd dimension, make yourself look like Batman, and play any hero games or fantasy you can imagine, and she will always be helplessly enamored with you. Look at you that heroic posture, sense of justice, you deserve to be their hero."

"Wow Gsptlsnz, that makes a lot of sense. I have never thought of that! This will be amazing!"

"You silly men, always making things more complicated. Now if you don't mind, I have some rewards to collect." She gazes hungrily over to Mxyzptlk, his grin going so wide his tiny bowler had popped off his head for a moment.

"I can take a hint; you too have fun!' Bat-Mite zooms off while Gsptlsnz drags her smiling Mxy to their bedroom.

The End