Mark hesitated outside the psychiatrist’s office, tugging at the hem of his yellow midi-skirt. His heart pounded. He had done something terrible. He had broken into his sister’s house. He had stolen her clothes. And the worst part? He couldn’t stop himself.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Dr. Leonard Brooks barely glanced up from his notepad. “Ah, Mark. Have a seat.”

Mark perched on the chair, his knees pressed together, navy tights stretched tightly over his legs. His beige heels wobbled slightly on the hardwood floor. “Doctor, I---I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I broke into my sister’s house and stole her clothes. I know it’s wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself.”

Dr. Brooks scribbled something down, then set his pen aside and studied Mark for a long moment.

“Stand up,” the doctor said.

Mark hesitated. “What?”

“Stand up and turn around.”

Mark’s stomach twisted, but he obeyed, standing and slowly turning so the doctor could see his full outfit. The room was silent for a moment.

Then Dr. Brooks sighed. “Mark.”

Mark clenched his fists. “What? What is it?”

Dr. Brooks gestured vaguely at his back. “Why are you wearing a bra with a halter top?”

Mark blinked. “What?”

The doctor shook his head, exasperated. “You do realize the straps are showing, right? A halter top ties behind the neck, Mark. It’s designed to be worn without visible bra straps. This is a complete fashion faux pas.”

“I---” Mark stammered. “I wasn’t thinking about that, I---”

“And let’s talk about the other issue,” Dr. Brooks continued. “Why are you wearing panties when you already have on pantyhose?”

Mark’s face turned scarlet. “I---excuse me?!”

Dr. Brooks gave him a knowing look. “Pantyhose already have built-in coverage. If you must wear panties, at least make them a thong, so you don’t have those unsightly lines showing through your skirt.”

Mark gawked at him. “Doctor, I---I came here because I broke into my sister’s house---not for fashion advice!”

Dr. Brooks sighed, shaking his head as if Mark had completely missed the point. “You’re missing the bigger issue here, Mark.” He tapped his pen against his desk. “A green and red striped halter crop top with a yellow midi-skirt? No. Just no.”

Mark’s eye twitched. “You’re seriously judging my outfit right now?”

Dr. Brooks ignored his frustration. “You needed something fitted. High-waisted shorts would’ve been a much better choice. Or even a sleek pencil skirt, if you wanted to keep it classy. Midi-skirts can work, but not this one. The color is completely off. You’re clashing, Mark.”

Mark exhaled sharply, trying to keep his patience. “Doctor, I think I have an actual psychological issue.”

Dr. Brooks leaned back in his chair, studying him. “Tell me, Mark---do you want to feel good when you wear these clothes?”

Mark’s face burned with frustration. “I don’t want to wear these clothes!”

Dr. Brooks waved a dismissive hand. “Denial. That’s normal.” He jotted something down. “Now, let’s get back to your wardrobe crisis. Have you considered accessorizing properly? A bold belt could add definition to your waistline, and statement earrings would balance out the look.”

Mark clenched his jaw. “Doctor---”

Dr. Brooks held up a hand. “No, no, listen. If you must wear a halter crop top, you need to pair it with the right bottom. A high-waisted A-line skirt could give you a more balanced silhouette. Or, if you want a casual but stylish vibe, a pair of tailored culottes.”

Mark buried his face in his hands. “This is not happening.”

Dr. Brooks nodded. “Exactly. This outfit should not be happening. We’re on the same page now.”

Mark groaned. He had come seeking answers, but all he had found was a psychiatrist more invested in his fashion choices than his actual problems.

Somehow, that was even more unsettling than his compulsion.

After Mark stormed out of the office---mumbling something about finding a real psychiatrist---Dr. Leonard Brooks calmly set down his pen and reached for the phone.

He dialed the number and waited. After a few rings, a voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Kevin," Dr. Brooks said smoothly. "I need you to come to my office. It's about Mark."