Authors note: This is fan fiction from the 1966-68 version of Batman. The one starring Adam West and Bert Ward.

BATMAN In color.

Voice over: Gotham City to maintain its place as a center of commercial hosts many exhibitions. Salespeople and purchasers alike flock to our fair metropolis to see the latest wears from many manufacturers as well as former trends from decades back. Dressed in their finest, hundreds attend the Head Wear Annual Dinner. The hatcheck girl finds herself with nothing to do as the conventioneers refuse to part with the beloved chapeaus. Hats of every type from caps to tasseled fezzes to feathered cambric cocktail hats; all types of headgear are represented. In this crowd, the finest dresses and thousand-dollar suits are secondary to what each participant wears on his/her head.

Into this fine affair, a strange red-headed man with a mustache clad in a light blue felt top hat with a black band around the lower brim and accompanied by his very own blonde hatcheck girl dressed in a strapless black cocktail dress with white lace trim at the neck, sleeves and a black bowler enter the room. The man would look out of place anywhere but fits in the best he could here. He mingles with the crowd without talking to anyone but his own companion. He is looking for something quite specific. Once he finds what he is looking for he walks straight up to a lady.

“Is that a genuine Hut Sombrero chapeau?” the Mad Hatter asks.

“Would I ever wear a faux Hut Sombrero?” the woman says indignantly. She felt insulted by the insinuation that she wouldn't wear the genuine article.

“I knew it was real, I can tell a forgery from a mile away.”

The Mad Hatter's top hat flipped its lid showing a pair of eyes. A moment later beams emanated from those eyes projecting toward the woman in the Hut Sombrero hat. As the rays projected into the woman's eyes, the Mad Hatter stated the word “Cat.” She fell silent and then fainted away. Before she could fall to the floor, the woman who had accompanied the Mad Hatter grabbed the chapeau off of the woman's head. She handed it to the Mad Hatter. They left the convention as some of the other guests attended to the woman who had apparently just fainted.

While kneeling beside the fainted woman, one of the conventioneers patted the woman's hand. The woman opened her eyes.

“Are you OK?” someone asked.

Fear could be seen in the woman's eyes. She was on her back at first, but then rolled over and got on all fours. She arched her back high in the air and hissed loudly. She stuck out one of her hands and swatted the person closest to her with her nails exposed. Then she tried to scamper off in a semi-crawl. She didn't get far without being tackled and held to the ground. She tried to get free growling loudly. She was held firm until an ambulance took her away.

Word was sent through the chain of command until it was finally brought to the attention of the commissioner of police's office.

“There is no doubt who it is.” Chief O'Hara remarked.

“Yes, it's that hypnotic headwear collector, Jervis Tetch. I'm going to call Batman. That is unless you think you can handle him.”

“Any ordinary felon my men can apprehend. But when it comes to the hypnotic powers of the Mad Hatter, I'm afraid there is only one man who can ring him in: our friend at the other end of the hotline.”

“I agree chief.” Commissioner Gordon removed the plastic covering over the batphone and pressed the big black button in the middle of the phone to activate it. A light from within the phone started blinking.

At stately Wayne Manor, Dick Grayson was dressed as a magician. He had a deck of cards in his hand. “Now Aunt Harriet, replace your card anywhere in the deck.”

Bruce Wayne was standing a few steps behind Aunt Harriet when Alfred the faithful butler tapped him on the shoulder.

“It's the batphone,” Alfred whispered.

Dick finished his trick.

“Amazing!” Aunt Harriet exclaimed.

“Dick that was wonderful, but I think you should see how a professional does it. Zelda the Great is starting her afternoon performance in a half hour. If we hurry, we can just about make it.”

“Holy Mentalist, you mean!?!”

Bruce nodded at Dick.

“That's a great idea,” Dick said in a lower volume. Then the pair ran to Bruce's study. The handset of the batphone was laying beside the phone.

“Yes, Commissioner.”

Jervis Tetch is playing with the minds of our fair citizens and stealing their hats too,” Commissioner Gordon told him.

“We'll be right there!”

Bruce hung up the phone. Dick opened the entrance to the bat-poles. Bruce ran to the golden pole labeled Bruce, and Dick ran to his pole.

***SOCK!*** ***POW!*** ***ZOK!*** BATMAN...BATMAN...BATMAN... ***WHAP!*** ***BIFF!*** ***OOOOF!*** ..BATMAN.....BATMAN...

“Na na na na na na na na BATMAN!”

Dressed in their typical Batman and Robin costumes, they run from the bat-poles Batman gets into the drivers' side of the batmobile and Robin into the passenger side. They put on their seat belts before starting the car. “Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed,” Robin announces.

“Roger, ready to move out,” Batman confirmed.

Fire flew out of the rear exhaust as the car screeched into motion. They passed a sign that said 14 miles to Gotham City. Batman knew they would traverse that distance in less than ten minutes.

Batman parked the batmobile right in front of Gotham City Police Headquarters. Batman and Robin ran up the stairs that led to the door. Less than a minute later they were in the commissioner's office.

“...it's the Mad Hatter alright. The eye beams popping out of a top hat. The sudden change in personality of the victim.”

“She thinks she is a cat!”

“It should last about twelve hours until the mesmerism wears off,” Batman explained.

“Until what wears off?” came a feminine voice from the door. Everyone turned to see Barbara Gordon, Commissioner Gordon's daughter enter the room.

“One of our foes is performing tricks with people's heads again,” Batman told her.

“It's the Mad Hatter,” Robin confirmed.

“I see,” Barbara replied.

No one felt any compunction about speaking in any other way than candidly even though a civilian was in the room.

“What did the Mad Hatter take this time?”

“A hat, of course, a very expensive one. It was a one-of-a-kind Hut Sombrero.” No one had to be told about the Hut Sombrero headwear. There were only about a hundred in existence in the world. Hut Sombrero thought of his creations as pieces of art and never mass-produced any of his creations. Since Hut Sombrero is no more, the price of his wares has gone up.