In the sunny Brady household on a quiet evening, Marcia Brady sat at her desk with a cassette recorder and a notebook. She had been practicing hypnosis techniques from a library book on subliminal suggestion, convinced she had finally mastered the art. The idea of testing it on her brothers seemed harmless enough-just a little experiment.

She slipped into the boys’ room while they were downstairs watching television, placed a small tape player under Greg’s bed, and set it to play at low volume while they slept. The soft, repeating message drifted through the dark: *You hate all male apparel. You cannot stand shirts, pants, or anything made for boys. Only girls’ clothes feel right. Only dresses, skirts, and soft feminine things make you comfortable.*

The next morning, Greg woke first. He stared at the neatly folded stacks of jeans, T-shirts, and button-downs in the closet and felt an instant, powerful wave of disgust. Peter and Bobby reacted the same way the moment their eyes opened. The three of them stood in the middle of the room, shivering in their pajamas, unable to force themselves to touch a single item of their own clothing.

“We… we need something else,” Greg muttered, already heading for the door.