Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Like, oh my gawd, you believe what happened. It was like a couple weeks ago, but I decided to write it down now. Just in case anyone reads my diary, which I totally don't want anyone to. I was like totally walking with my two daughters when there was this big ass explosion. My daughters and I were combined into one totally awesome person. The body is like mostly my own, an adult man, but my personality is like totally my fourteen-year-old daughter and I'm like the baby too. Anyway, like OMG diary the bestest thing is that no one knows anything is wrong. I'm like "Hello," and all I get is a headshake from people. Even my wife, I mean my Mom. Speaking of Mom, it's like totally uncool that she won't let me wear makeup, or drive a car like I used to do. I tell her, I'm like really old, but she won't listen to me. Maybe next year when I'm in high-school, she'll change her mind. I donno, grownups are like that sometimes. It's like also a such a drag that I have to have my diaper changed like a hundred times a day. But its like sooooo cool that nobody says anything when I suck my thumb. I always wear these to die for outfits that Mom picks out for me. I also have this adorable lisp. I have to go, because my BFF is here. We are going to do what we always do, listen to music, dance around like chickens with their heads cut off, but mostly talk about hot boys. Diary I couldn't be any happier.
Catch ya later,
XOXOXO
Charley Boy.