In a quiet suburban neighborhood, 28-year-old Xavier had finally achieved the body he’d always wanted. Months of relentless gym sessions, protein shakes, and mirror selfies had sculpted him into a walking advertisement for vanity. Every evening he’d strut down the sidewalk in tank tops two sizes too small, flexing for anyone who glanced his way.

Gloria the witch lived three houses down. She was ancient, sharp-tongued, and had zero tolerance for peacocks. One warm Tuesday, as Xavier paraded past her garden for the third time that week, she stepped onto her porch with a steaming mug of tea and a look that could curdle milk.

“If you’re so desperate to show off that body,” she called, voice sweet as poisoned honey, “there are pageants for that.”

Xavier laughed, striking a double-bicep pose. “Yeah? Sign me up, grandma.”

Gloria’s eyes flashed violet. She snapped her fingers.

In an instant, the world tilted. Xavier’s broad shoulders collapsed inward, his proud chest sagged into soft, matronly curves. His six-pack melted into a plump, comfortable belly-not fat, just the generous roundness of a woman who had lived well and long. Skin loosened, wrinkles bloomed like flowers across his face, and silver-white hair cascaded past his shoulders. His height shrank; his knees creaked. When the magic settled, an 82-year-old woman stood blinking on the sidewalk in oversized men’s gym shorts that now hung like a tent around her thickened hips.

Gloria strolled over, smiling. “Welcome to the rest of your life, dear. You’re now Evelyn Rose Hargrove, age eighty-two. I’ve already enrolled you in the Grand Senior Beauty Pageant-two months from today. And every other senior pageant you’re eligible for until you win top prize. First place only, darling. Anything less, and you’ll only grow frailer in body and mind. The worse you place, the faster it happens.”

Evelyn (formerly Xavier) clutched her new bosom, voice high and trembling. “You can’t do this! I don’t know the first thing about pageants! Walks, interviews, talent-none of it!”

Gloria leaned in, eyes twinkling with wicked delight. “Then you had better learn fast.”