Harold Winters had never been the kind of man to entertain flights of fancy. He was a tax auditor, a meticulous note-taker, and the proud owner of a car so beige it could camouflage against any office wall. But one fateful Tuesday afternoon, everything changed.

Harold had been walking home from work when he tripped on a loose brick and smacked his head against a lamppost. When he woke up, he was no longer Harold Winters, tax auditor.

He was Starwhisper, the Grand Fairy of Light and Wonders.

At least, that’s what he kept telling the nurses at the hospital.

“I demand to be released immediately!” Harold---no, Starwhisper---announced, flinging his arms dramatically. “The Fairy Council awaits my return, and I must find my wand before the dark forces consume the kingdom!”

The attending doctor, a patient woman named Dr. Lin, exchanged glances with the nurse. “Mr. Winters, you suffered a head injury. It’s possible you’re experiencing some confusion.”

Harold scoffed. “Confusion? Oh, no, dear mortal. I have simply awoken to my true destiny. And the only confusion here is where my wand has gone! I must retrieve it at once!”

They humored him for a while, hoping reality would sink in. But days passed, and Harold remained utterly convinced that he was, in fact, a powerful fairy.

His sister, Meredith, was called in to talk sense into him. She sat by his bed, arms crossed. “Harold, you’re a middle-aged man. You do taxes. You can’t even keep a houseplant alive, let alone wield magic.”

Harold gasped. “How dare you speak to Starwhisper in such a way! Why, if I had my wand, I would turn you into a shimmering butterfly just to teach you respect!”

Meredith groaned. “You don’t have a wand, Harold.”

“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “I did have a wand, and when I find it, my powers will be restored!”

The hospital staff, out of ideas, let him leave under Meredith’s supervision. The moment they stepped outside, Harold threw his arms out and twirled. “Ah, the sweet scent of the mortal realm! How long have I been trapped in that dreadful castle?”

Once Meredith, his long-suffering sister, was forced to take him home, Harold wasted no time.

“A Grand Fairy cannot be seen in such drab mortal garments,” he declared, tugging at his stiff business suit in disgust. “I must seek out my robes of power at once.”

Meredith sighed. “You mean clothes?”

“Not just any clothes. Fairy uniforms.”

Despite her better judgment, Meredith let Harold lead her to a boutique in the artsy district, a store filled with pastel bodysuits, leotards, and flowy skirts.

Harold gasped. “At last! A sanctuary for the enchanted folk!”

A young sales associate, barely holding back laughter, approached. “Um… can I help you?”

Harold spread his arms as if ready to take flight. “Yes, kind clothier! I seek the garments of the Fae! Something ethereal yet flexible for midair pirouettes. Something that whispers of moonlight and dewdrops!”

The sales associate blinked. Meredith pinched the bridge of her nose.

“So… pastel leotards?” the associate guessed.

Harold clapped his hands. “Ah, you speak the fairy tongue! Yes! Bring me your finest leotards and footless tights! The grandest of ensembles for a Grand Fairy!”

Ten minutes later, Harold stood before the dressing room mirror, resplendent in a soft lavender leotard with matching footless tights. He struck a pose. “This… this is what I was meant to be.”

Meredith, watching from a nearby chair, shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

Ignoring her, Harold marched triumphantly to the register, where he retrieved his magic card---a.k.a. his credit card. “Worry not, fair maiden,” he told the cashier. “I shall pay with the enchanted talisman bestowed upon me by the High Bankers of Visa!”

The cashier scanned the card, suppressing laughter. “Uh-huh. And would the Grand Fairy like a receipt?”

Harold narrowed his eyes. “No need. The Fairy Treasury keeps immaculate records.”

Meredith groaned.

Suited up in his fairy uniform, Harold pranced back out into the streets, much to the horror of his sister. He twirled, arms outstretched, declaring, “Now, all that remains is my wand!”

Later that evening, Tony, Harold’s best friend, arrived and found him perched on the couch in his pastel glory.

Tony sighed and, without a word, pulled a cheap pink plastic wand from behind his back and handed it over.

Harold gasped in excitement and grasped the wand with reverence---until his fingers touched the flimsy plastic. His expression darkened.

“This…” He turned the wand over in his hands, inspecting it like a jeweler appraising a fake gemstone. “This is not a true Fairy Wand.”

Meredith groaned. “Oh, come on. You have a wand now. Can’t you move on?”

Harold let out a dramatic sigh. “A Grand Fairy knows their own wand. This…this is a mere child’s trinket! It has no power, no essence! I cannot accept this deception.” He cast it aside onto the couch as if it had personally insulted him.

Tony smirked. “Okay, then. What now, Starwhisper?”

Harold stood, resolute, his lavender leotard shimmering under the ceiling light. “I must return to the place where it all began. The place where I awoke to my true self. The park. My wand must be there.”

At the break of dawn, Harold, dressed in his fairy attire, strode into the park where his transformation began. He moved through the grass with the grace of a seasoned performer, his arms extended as if he were floating instead of walking.

He combed the area with utmost care, overturning fallen leaves, peering under benches, and brushing his hands over patches of dirt. His lavender leotard and tights caught the attention of several joggers and dog-walkers.

“Excuse me, sir,” a woman with a terrier said hesitantly, “are you… looking for something?”

Harold turned, placing a solemn hand over his heart. “Oh, my dear mortal, I appreciate your concern, but I cannot assist you in your worldly troubles at this moment. However, when I find my wand, everything will be different.”

The woman stared, unsure whether to laugh or call for help. She slowly backed away.

Harold continued his quest, occasionally stopping to murmur to passersby:

“My apologies, sir, I cannot grant wishes yet. But soon…”

“Not to worry, young one! Once my wand is found, harmony shall be restored!”