Let me tell you about when my neighbor came over to my house to confront me. The confrontation didn't go as he planned.

You see my neighbor is a great deal taller than I am. He thought he could intimidate me.

It all started on my move-in day to my new house in early April. My forty-year-old neighbor on my left comes up to me while I'm helping the movers move my stuff. The first words out of his mouth are, "Are you the new owner? Are you going to do anything about these leaves that keep blowing into my yard from your stupid trees? You'd better because the last owner didn't! Don't piss me off!"

I thought that was a weird way to introduce yourself to someone. Eventually, it came to a head when I told him, "I understand that you like to keep your lawn tidy. Can you understand, that I've been working 60 to 70-hour weeks while moving in and I am doing my best? I can't be looking out my window all the time to see if leaves are blowing on your property. It's just not possible"

But the man, I found out his name was Jordan although he didn't tell me when I first encountered him, just got irate. He kept going on that it was my leaves and that it was my duty to keep them off his lawn..

I realized that it wasn't going to go well so I decided to take matters into my own hands.

"I told you not too piisss...." Jordan lost his train of thought in mid-sentence. He looked down to find a growing wet spot in his tan slacks. The spot started at his crotch and then flowed mostly downward on his left pant leg.

"Come with me," I told Jordan, "and let's get you changed."

Jordan nodded somberly.

I reached out my hand and led him through my house. He wasn't saying anything anymore.

I led him to the bathroom and told him to sit on the toilet while I got a few things. He nodded again.

A couple of minutes later, I reentered the room with a thick disposable diaper and an aqua and pink two-toned knee-length party dress. It had crinolines underneath the skirt making it puff up a lot. That would hide the diaper underneath.

I helped him out of his wet apparel and cleaned him up with a towel and a bar of soap. I also used the towel to dry up the puddle that had formed underneath his feet on my bathroom floor.

I asked him to stand up with his feet wide apart so I could slip the diaper under his crotch. He helped by holding the diaper up as I secured the tabs into a snug fit.

I knew that he wouldn't be a problem anymore.

Once the diaper was secured, I told him, "Lift your arms," then I slipped the dress over his head. He turned around when I indicated he should. I pulled up the long zipper that extended from his waist to his upper back.

"Do you know your home phone number?"

He told me.

"Is anybody home?"

"Yeth, Lorna ith home," Jordan said with his newly acquired lisp.

I picked up my phone and phoned.

"Hello, is this Lorna?"

"Yes."

"Jordan came over here and had a little accident. Can you come over?"

"Anything serious?"

"No, nothing at all. Just come."

I met Lorna as the door and explained everything to her. I told her, "You had better keep a better watch on Jordan before there is a more serious problem."

"I surely will," Lorna assured me. She took Jordan by the hand. The pair exited my house and headed home. I could tell that Lorna was extremely mad with Jordan, I knew by her expression. She would wait until they got home to have a serious talk with Jordan.

Lorna would need to keep an eagle eye on Jordan as he now has the personality of a silly five-year-old girl.