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Slip And Fall
Part 1 Louisa, seventy-six and still sharp as ever, dialed her nephew Hunter one quiet morning. She told him she had finally signed the papers and would mail them just as soon as she found a long manila envelope. She had plans that would keep her out of the house all day, she added, so she would take care of the mailing whenever she had a free moment. Hunter assured her there was no need to rush or worry. He would simply stop by and collect the papers himself. After the call ended, he drove over to her familiar house, letting himself in with the key she had given him years earlier. Once inside, he made his way to her bedroom. There he removed his own clothes and began dressing in hers. He started with a layer of shapewear, then fastened a structured underwire bra around his chest. Next came her loose-fitting, knee-length muumuu-style dress-black fabric scattered with a blue-and-white floral pattern, square neckline, gathered yoke, and three-quarter sleeves. He smoothed the soft material over the shapewear and stepped into her taupe control-top pantyhose, finishing with her black low-heeled pumps. The pumps pinched a little at the toes, but everything else either stretched or hung loosely enough to accommodate his frame. Knowing Louisa would be gone for many hours, Hunter wandered through the rooms as though the house belonged to him. He moved slowly from kitchen to living room and back again, the hem of the dress brushing his knees with every step. He found quiet pleasure in the ordinary rituals his great aunt might have performed. He boiled water for a cup of tea, carried it carefully to the sofa, and settled in to watch an old television series from decades past, the kind Louisa still kept stacked beside the set. Later, when he decided to go upstairs, the too-tight pumps betrayed him. On the second or third step his foot slipped, and he tumbled hard down the staircase. The fall left him unconscious for a while, the floral dress and taupe pantyhose still in place as he lay unmoving at the bottom of the stairs. Part 2 When Hunter regained consciousness, he found himself still sprawled at the foot of the stairs, the floral muumuu twisted around his legs and the taupe pantyhose snagged in places from the fall. Pain radiated through his body in sharp waves-his ankle throbbed, one shoulder felt wrong, and a deep ache pulsed behind his eyes where his head had struck the floor. He tried to push himself upright, but his legs refused to bear any weight. The best he could manage was a weak shift of his hips that left him gasping. He stared down at the clothes covering him: the structured bra digging into his ribs, the square neckline of the dress, the control-top hose, and the black pumps still clinging to his feet. A wave of dread washed over him. There was no reasonable way to explain why he was wearing every piece of his great aunt’s clothing. His own apparel remained upstairs in her bedroom, far beyond reach. Even if he somehow managed to peel off the muumuu and the rest, he would still be left with nothing to put on in their place. The little movement he could force from his body was nowhere near enough to climb the stairs. Each attempt sent fresh spikes of pain through his injured limbs and left him slumped lower against the bottom step. Hours still remained before Louisa was due to return. The thought of her walking through the door and finding him like this-dressed head to toe in her things, helpless and unable to rise-made his stomach tighten with panic. He could not invent a single story that would make the scene look anything other than what it was. His phone sat upstairs with his discarded clothes, so calling for help was impossible. Even if he had it, he wondered who he could possibly contact. A neighbor? A friend? Any of them would ask questions he could not answer. As the minutes stretched into longer stretches of silence, his worry deepened. He searched for any explanation that might sound plausible. Perhaps he had fallen, struck his head hard enough to black out, and in some bizarre post-concussion delusion decided he was Louisa. That idea almost felt workable-until he realized it still failed to account for the clothes themselves. Had he somehow gotten dressed, fallen once, recovered just enough to climb back up, changed, and then fallen a second time? The notion was absurd. Nothing about it held together. He lay there breathing carefully, the soft fabric of the dress rising and falling with each shallow breath, and the reality of his situation settled over him like a second weight. There was nothing left to do but wait, trapped in Louisa’s garments at the bottom of her stairs, while the afternoon light slowly shifted across the floor. Part 3 Hunter forced himself to keep thinking, desperate for any story that might sound even halfway believable when Louisa walked through the door. The first idea that surfaced was a bet. Someone had challenged him to put on his great aunt’s clothes, and he had foolishly agreed. Almost immediately the notion collapsed. A bet required a witness; the person who made it would have needed to be right there in the house to confirm he had actually done it. No one else was present. The explanation died before it could take root, and a fresh spike of panic tightened his chest. He tried blackmail next. Perhaps someone was forcing him to dress this way under threat of exposing something terrible. But that only opened a worse problem: he would then have to invent the secret he was supposedly being blackmailed about, something so damaging that wearing Louisa’s bra, pantyhose, and floral muumuu would seem the lesser evil. The more he reached for such a secret, the emptier his mind became. The idea left him breathing faster, heart hammering against the structured cups of the bra. Maybe he had spilled something ruinous on his own clothes and had been forced to borrow hers. That thought lasted only seconds. His clothes were still upstairs, clean and neatly folded where he had left them. Even if they had been ruined, why would he have chosen the underwire bra, the control-top hose, and the full feminine ensemble instead of simply wrapping himself in a bathrobe or a towel? The logic was so thin it made him feel light-headed with rising fear. A stage hypnotist, then. Some entertainer had planted a ludicrous post-hypnotic suggestion that he must dress exactly like his great aunt and walk around her house. The notion was ridiculous on its face-he had never attended such a show, never spoken to a hypnotist-and yet he clung to it for a moment before it, too, dissolved. Who would believe that? Louisa certainly wouldn’t. His panic climbed another notch. He scrambled for stranger possibilities. Perhaps he had taken a nap upstairs, drifted into a deep sleep, and begun sleepwalking, somehow dressing himself in her things without waking. But sleepwalkers did not usually select structured bras and low-heeled pumps with such deliberate care, and the careful way he had layered each garment argued against any unconscious act. Or maybe a sudden psychiatric break had convinced him, for a few deranged hours, that he truly was Louisa. That explanation required him to have first climbed the stairs, changed clothes with methodical precision, and only then suffered the fall-an order of events that made no sense at all. Each discarded idea left him more frantic than the last. He pictured Louisa’s face when she found him, the questions she would ask, the impossibility of answering any of them. The floral dress felt heavier against his skin; the tight pumps pressed like accusations against his aching feet. Time kept moving, the house stayed silent, and every new explanation he invented collapsed under its own absurdity, leaving him more trapped than before. Part 4 When Hunter heard the familiar sound of Louisa’s key in the lock and her footsteps approaching the front door, he quickly closed his eyes and let his body go slack, pretending he was still unconscious. The door opened. A moment later he sensed her stop short at the sight of him lying at the bottom of the stairs, fully dressed in her floral muumuu, pantyhose, and pumps. Louisa stood frozen for several seconds, unable to make sense of what she was seeing. Then she called his name sharply and hurried across the floor, dropping to her knees beside him. She shook his shoulder and spoke in a rising voice, urging him to wake up. Hunter allowed his eyelids to flutter open and met her worried, confused gaze. In a weak voice he told her that he had fallen down the stairs and that he had no idea how he had ended up wearing her clothes. Louisa listened, but the disbelief was plain on her face. She might accept that he had taken a tumble; the rest of the story she clearly rejected. She ordered him to get up at once. When he tried and failed, pain flashing across his features, her expression hardened. She demanded a real explanation for why he was dressed in her garments. Cornered, Hunter offered a partial truth: he had wanted to know what it felt like to be like her, even for a little while. Louisa stared at him in silence. Then, without another word, she took out her phone and began taking pictures-many pictures-of him lying there in the muumuu, the black pumps, the whole ensemble. She told him that things would be different once he was better. Carefully she helped him out of the loose dress. Beneath it she found her own shapewear and the structured underwire bra still fastened around his torso. She shook her head, raised the phone again, and took more photographs. Removing the taupe control-top pantyhose and the lingerie proved painful; every tug and shift sent fresh waves of discomfort through his injured body. At last she managed to get him back into his own clothes as best she could, then called for an ambulance. Paramedics arrived, loaded him onto a stretcher, and took him to the hospital. Part 5 Louisa opened the door with a warm smile the moment Hunter arrived, leaning on his cane. “There you are, dear. Come in, come in. I’ve got everything ready for you. Just leave the cane by the door-won’t be needing that today. I’ve got a nice sturdy walker instead. Much better for getting around the house.” |